Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
