i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
