she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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