he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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