i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
