is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
