My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
