He kissed a someone with a penis
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
