Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
