My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize