Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
