the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
