they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
