Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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