My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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