i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
