I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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