I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
