he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
