The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
