I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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