And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
