I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
