Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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