u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
