I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
