It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
