Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize