Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
