And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
