i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
