My first STD was from a foam party
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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