all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
