his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
