Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
