So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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