he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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