dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
