Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
