My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
