you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He kissed a someone with a penis
My pussy is not your playground.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize