I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We just shotgunned beers for America
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
