Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
