they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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