I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
