You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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