please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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