Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
