margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
