Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just found a bag of teeth...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize