You made me cry and you don't even care
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
