He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
