i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
