East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I puked a lego.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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