pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's blow job season.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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