All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize