You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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