Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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