just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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