Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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