The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
