Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
