Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
