You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
