that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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