I wannas sexs uuuuu
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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