You can't special order awesome
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
