next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
