I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
