the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
